Offline Messages

There seems to be a huge problem with this yahoo crap. I haven't turned on my messenger in a while and i downloaded it and turned it on a couple of days ago while i was logged onto my yahoomail account. the messenger logged in and showed me some offline messages and i skimmed through one which was a question about training or crap... when i read through half of it, the damn thing logged off automatically and said i'm logged in from somewhere else... and shit hit the fan...
anyway... i lost a shit ton of offline messages and i don't know if anyone sent any crap to me or whatever... but please, don't send offline messages on yahoo... just hit me with an email, and if i don't answer within a day or two, leave a comment on my last blog post so i could make sure it's not in my spam.

the interwebz is broken.

Who the fuck believes this shit???

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/megan_fox_transformers_workout.htm

Really?
So this guy is trying to convince us that he actually knows megan fox's imaginary workout (trust me, she doesn't workout... maybe a jog every other week to try counteract the effects of cocaine on the heart, but that's it), and he knows her diet? (which is basically chicken mcnuggets for lunch, and some kind of other shit for dinner in real life)...

I truly feel sorry for people who will read this and actually believe it. Women tend to believe this shit more than men do. because everytime i talk to a woman who asks about diet/workout/whatever she immediately cuts me off and says "well, i heard angelina jolie did 500 sit ups per night and only ate carrots for a month to get her fabulous bod!"... after seeing her manly back and saggy ass in "wanted", i'd do my best to avoid carrots and sit ups... the problem is they actually believe it's true...

look, here's the fact of the matter... if it's a hollywood celeb or whatever... and she has a nice body... she was born that way... the only ones who looked good and then turned into anorexic bitches that weigh 7 lbs on a good day are those who abused the drugs, badly. other than that, how the hell do you think rock stars of the 70's and 80's were as thin as shit and had six pack abs while eating the worst food ever and not working out a day in their lives? i'm sure green tea and acai berry extract were popular back then.

If it wasn't the drugs... it's the genetics... they were born that way. I would believe someone like Ryan Reynolds works out cuz it fucking shows. i would believe jessica beil worked out for the movie "blade 3" and then stopped because it showed in that movie, and didn't in any other movie. I believe that adam sandler worked out for the movie "don't mess with the zohan" cuz he looked like less of a shit than he did in any other movie, and he only worked out for six months with a trainer who was knowledgeable in nutrition (yeah, that's how shitty results are in real life... adam sandler has average genetics too... that's what you should expect to look like if you look like shit now then workout with the right diet for 6 months). I would believe that christian bale is very serious about his training and nutrition all the time because he always looks in shape in all his movies, and he worked really fucking hard to look like madonna in the movie "the machinist".

I would not believe that megan fox works out at all and eats anything other than cup cakes and ding dongs (with emphasis on the dongs) because she looks that same as she did in any other movie (not saying she's not hot, so don't fucking get on my case). I wouldn't believe that angelina jolie ever trained in her life because she has a normal fucking body and somehow that impresses people (because they can't see beyond those big ass lips), I don't believe that beyonce ever trained in her life, but she starves her self because she looks like she can easily get fat (black genetics...'nough said)... probably the reason why she married a guy who looks like a burnt frog, she knows she'll let herself go one day when she's hungry.

There is a difference between "nice body" and "you look like you workout"... big difference... especially in females...
If you see Jillian Micheals from the biggest loser (please ignore her ugly assed manly horse face) you'd say "damn! she must workout 20 hours per day!"... and if you see any other woman who you'd get out of your way to "tap", you'd say "wow, she has a gorgeous body! 'I'D HIT IT' approved"... see the difference?


So, to conclude this shit... if you see a woman with a "nice" body... she doesn't do anything special for it... she's just born that way and you weren't... so, tough luck...
if you see a woman that looks like she works out (most people can't tell the difference in women since there are only 8 women that workout on this planet... i'm talking real working out, not the "i'll buy a treadmill and use it once a year" kind of shit) she actually put some effort into fixing her ugliness...


that is all... you may continue what you were doing.

He will be missed...

Excerpts from the Diary of a Pissed Off Bodybuilder

Things I don't understand...

Here's a list of some of the things i've seen in my life that made me go "huh? what? fucking why?"

* Women who wear an abaya, neqab, and all the crap because they "fear god" and don't want to stand out in a crowd, yet they don't realize that although they might be the ugliest girls on the planet, the huge blue and yellow sparkly bird on the back of their abaya and the 17 gallons of the jack daniels scented calogne they have on would attract a brain dead paraplegic.

* During prayer time, one of the most important things to do is be organized and move in a timely manner during prayer. everyone is in a straight line. if you are out of that line, you will have 29 hands pulling you back in line to be orderly and organized... step outside of the mosque... well, you'll have about 150 cars all parked wrong and are blocking the whole road... it's so chaotic that it takes everyone 30 minutes to think "how the hell am i gonna move my car?"

* This really bugs me... no one believes me when i say this... but i hate gifts on my birthday, and i hate surprises and parties and shit like that... I tell them, but they don't listen... anyway... if it's my birthday... or i just graduated... or i found a job... or anything good happened to me shouldn't i be the one inviting people and buying them gifts to celebrate myself being alive? like "thank god!! (or as we say here... thanks god...) I made it through another year!!!" shouldn't i say "I'm gonna appreciate life more and show people how much i love them... i'm inviting everyone to dinner" instead of "where's everyone? where are all my gifts for living another year?? why doesn't anyone love me?" ... it don't make no sense to me...

* thinking that following the news and knowing who certain people are (that have no influence over you AT ALL) is very important... a friend of mine once asked me (to supposedly embarrass me in front of the guys) "do you know who such and such is?" I answered "isn't he that guy with the white beard?" he laughed and said "no! hahaha.. how could you not know who he is? don't you watch the news?" ... here's a news flash for you... he doesn't know who the fuck you are, and he wouldn't think twice about bombing your ass. If someone isn't leading my country and i have to know who the hell he is and what the hell he's doing to know my own countries laws, i don't give a shit. if he knows who i am, i'll probably know who he is. if not, i really couldn't care less. why do i "have" to know who he is if it won't make a damn difference in my life except for "keeping up in boring conversations about shit that's being repeated at work, restaurants, meetings with people you don't like... etc."?

* seeing someone enjoying a cigarette and saying "don't do that, it's bad for you"... has anyone ever said that, and then the smoker said "OMG!" threw the cigarette away and said "i'm never smoking again!!!!" you know you're fucking bothering people... stop being an attention whore/wanna be saint who will fix shit

* Saving humanity... you are contradicting your own shit... yeah, it's tragic if you get sick, die, or someone close to you suffers... it is... but in the end, you're doing the world a favor... we're over populated, economy sucks, no jobs, universities and schools can't take in most of the population... etc. we want to make humans live to be 500 years old... yet when most of the population is 18-30, broke as shit, acting as if they're parasites, annoying the shit out of you, looking for trouble... etc. and you want to save them? give me a damn break. There is a reason why some parts of the world are starving, and others eat two bites of their 5 lb lunch and throw it away. there is a reason why some people die of the flu because they don't have the facilities or finances to get health care, and other would survive the deadliest kind of cancer cuz they shilled out 2 mil to cure it. I just don't get it. I probably won't change my mind if i get really sick or shit... I say shit you wouldn't expect me to say when i get sick... so i don't think i'm changing the way i look at it any time soon.

* serve and protect with the village idiots... never understood that...

*wiping your ass without splashing the shit out of it with a fire hose is not accepted and is considered VERY bad hygiene... you are a dirty fucker if you don't do that... but it's ok to drench the whole bathroom floor with your ass water and leave your shit there on the floor without cleaning it and let all the germs set in...


anyway...

Going back to photoshopping and air brushing and shit

a lot of guys are gonna get pissed off... and i think many women are gonna be happy and tell men "see, it's all fucking smoke and mirrors"... do you know who this is?

this is gonna be a short post

but listen up, bitches... seriously... when i tell you that i could put make up on ruffles and make him look hotter than any bitch on tv... i'm serious...

what's my point? I'm just pissed that i see too many stupid people actually believe that people on TV and magazines who pay big bucks for photoshoots and crap actually look like that the minute they wake up in the morning...

why am i pissed? cuz some people actually think rhianna or however you spell her name is actually beautiful...

this picture gives me comfort and helps me sleep at night... LOOOOOOOOOOOL

As Promised.... dem musicz

here they are :)
first, i would like to apologize for the "cringing" effect you will have when you listen to this crap... all the recording turned out next to perfect, except for the vocals... the vocals basically ruin all the songs... LOL! the first song (hogtied) turned out pretty good cuz i wasn't singing too loud... the rest were really bad because i was recording the vocals in a room with tile floors and not much furniture... so you have a pretty bad reverb effect... kinda like singing in a bathroom... that and i basically can't sing for shitz... LOL... so here you go... i hope you enjoy it

Note: please listen to the music with some good headphones or some good speakers with a sub woofer... if you listen to it in crap speakers, like laptop speakers, it'll sound really really bad.

the drum tracks were done using beatcraft with the yamaha and tama kits
the guitar was recorded with a fender strat, which my baby bought me for my birthday when we first got engaged :D, that was hooked up to a digitech RP500 multi effects pedal that was directly plugged to the laptop.
the bass was recorded with the same guitar and pedal (i have a bass synthesizer in the pedal effects and it's awesome)
the vocals were recorded with a dumb bish who doesn't know how to sing and the mic that comes with guitar hero world tour... LOOOOOOOOOL
it was all recorded and mixed using audacity...

just thought you should know

enjoy

you have to right click and save as!

hogtied.mp3


wilson.mp3


will%20you.mp3

Stuff

I don't know why, but these past two weeks i have been as tired as fek... i sleep almost 8 hours a night, and i get my 45 minute little nap on my lunch break. I hate naps with all my heart... but when i'm home, which is a 5 minute drive from the office, and finish my lunch... i just look at ruffles laying on the floor showing me his nuts and i envy his comfort... so i fall asleep. I hate them because i wake up tired and as hungry as shit... don't know why... anyway, i just feel fucking tired and overtrained... my poundage has went up in the gym and that's probably why i feel overtrained (i hit muscles twice a week... so, it's just a matter of time)... i didn't go to the gym yesterday, nor am i going today or tomorrow... and thursday i have this contest, and i feel like a cow!!! don't give a shit... gonna compete with the super heavies to place 3rd and get meh moneh.
since i'm starting to get AWFULLY hungreh, i'm gonna add some food to the diet (which i haven't been following very strictly this past week... probably because i'm hungry all the time). i don't know how much i weigh right now cuz the scale we have is broken... THANK GOD!!! finally, something good happened :) ... now i won't need to fight the mental battle of "i didn't gain more than 2 kg this week? i need to up my cals by 5000 per hour!!!" ... meh


About the recording... i know i know... i'm supposed to be done by now, but i ran into some technical difficulties and it turns out that I R not that smart... the SM58 mic i had didn't work cuz it turns out that it needs a pre amp, and i tried recording with... get this... the mic that came with guitarhero world tour! lol! hey, it has a USB jack and it worked fine... but the sound was... i don't know if it was the amp, or the mic, or whatever... but it sounded like shit... so i'll try plugging in the pedal directly to the laptop and see how that works out. i need sometime to figure out the noise removal and compression in audacity and shit like that and see what i can do...
again, not to raise any expectations, it's gonna sound shitty... so be prepared... and when i upload the shit, don't you dare listen to it with computer speakers or any crap like that... the snare on the drums will sound like someone clapping, and the distortion on the guitar would sound like a busted TV, or ruffles after eating a can of beans.



that is all... you may now get back to what you were doing...

thisssss isssss paul harveh... GIDAY!